Dozens and dozens of photos; all ready to post. Beautiful works of art that contain a little piece of my heart. Hours of work, moments of true happiness...
but tonight I feel the need to vary a bit from my original plan and speak from the heart.
Truth and life; sometimes it can all be so confusing, scary, and just plain difficult.
Tonight I cry for St. Louis, Missouri.
The place where I grew up. All my loved ones, all my closest friends, all my most precious memories...
Tonight I hang my head.
Moments after the Micheal Brown verdict, the hate began.
Roiting, looting; the city is practically being burnt to the ground.
We have the news on and are listening to a scanner on the computer.
People are down, trapped, shot, dying, hurting...
It is truly like being trapped in a nightmare.
How far will these protesters take their rage?
Who does this defend?
How does this help anyone?
Hurting people that had nothing to do with the young man?
Burning your own city? Why?
What did an auto parts store, a pizza place, or a toy store, and so many more have to do with any of this? Why destory your own hometown?
This is our home.
Tonight, we sit in fear.
Maybe 20 minutes outside of the main riots.
Friends and co-works often have asked my husband and I why we stay here.
This is our home, our people... it's just were we belong; it's home.
Yes, it is a violent area. People die and are hurt everyday. The news is always full of bizarre stories, but it's part of life here. It's truly sad to say, but you learn very early on where not to go. It's almost like there is an imaginary line and you don't cross it.
All that said, my husband and I are not delusional enough to believe that we are safe 100% of the time. Crime travels...
So tonight, we sit and wait.
There will be no sleep; no peace.
Will the angry men and women make it to our door?
Truth is, if they want the house; take it.
We have a few bags packed and sitting by the door.
Toys and clothes for my son,
a few art journals and sketchbooks,
my husbands work laptop,
and a few clothes...
our cats are already in carry carriers,
our dogs have collars and leashes on,
our rats have been moved to the living room with a travel carrier placed right by the cage.
We are ready to grab our family and leave.
Nothing else really matters.
It's just stuff... it can all be replaced.
Every gun in our home is loaded and ready to go, which I really hate. It makes me so uncomfortable. There is a baseball bat right beside my nightstand... and truth is I am not amused by this either. I think it's ok to defend yourself, but the reality of it makes my stomach turn.
I've never hurt anyone, I just feel I need to prepare simply because I am in line of fire.
Doesn't matter my age, sex, race, religion, opinion...
Those that are angry don't care; they are simply taking a stand, doesn't seem to matter who they hurt.?
Tomorrow, how many will be collateral damage?
Why won't these people have the same public out cry?
They too are loved, missed, wanted...
Tonight my friends,
I don't care who or what you believe in. I am a Christian, and if you are not I am okay with that; as I hope you are okay with letting me rejoice in my beliefs. We are all here on this earth together. This is all of our homes. We are all different and that is a wonderful thing.
This has become a tragic event for so many people.
It is so incredibly sad.
What does tomorrow hold?
Hopefully, we can learn from this event and move forward as a society.
Make our home a better place...
one where we don't fear what might come in the night.
We shouldn't have to be scared of what's in the dark.
I had hoped the nights of peeking under my bed for the boogieman had passed... but now; is he just waiting outside of my door?
Do I have to face him head on to protect my family?
My heart goes out to the family and friends of all those that have been affected by this event.
I will hold all of you close to my heart.
I will pray for peace and safety for all;
and I will cry for all those hurting.
Tomorrow is a new day, lets make it count.
Lets move forward together.
All life is precious.
All life is precious.