Sometimes it's ok to be a follower

Wednesday, November 27, 2013


There are so many things in my life that I am thankful for, but this holiday season one thing rises above;
 I am thankful for sleepless nights.
Yes you read that correctly,
sleepless nights.

Let me take you back a little and explain why this is what I am thankful for.
My wonderful son is now two years old and I adore everything about him.
He is my world, my everything, I love him more than life itself.

But long before he was here, I found myself excited and pregnant with another child.
I wanted my baby more than anything, but sadly I miscarried  and lost my little angel.
It completely tore me apart. It seemed I cried endlessly. The emotional pain was far worse than any physical pain that I have ever endured. Time passed and I mourned, as I still do today, but I healed a little too. I began to pick up the pieces of my life and started trying to live again.

Several months later, I was on the phone with one of my girlfriends. It started out like so many  others; "how've you been ..." and such. Then she said something that touched my heart.
She meant no harm, but it stung badly.

Here's what she said, "I'm so tired, my little guy kept me up all night and I'd give anything to get some sleep."

Not horrible words, we all get exhausted raising children. It was a completely understandable comment.
But at that very moment sadness overtook me. What I wouldn't give to have my angel keeping me up all night. Holding her in my arms and snuggling.

That day I promised myself, if I was ever blessed again with another child I would enjoy every sleepless night. Every moment would be a gift no matter how tired I was.

And luckily I was blessed with another miracle, and we've had so many sleepless nights together.
I love every moment of it. I usually hold and rock my little guy and quitely cry.
They're happy tears.
Grateful tears.

I am thankful to be blessed with a wonderful little boy,
and I love our sleepless nights.



  1. Oh yeah kids are truly a blessing. I have 4 of my own and 8 grandkids and the 9th on the way here in May after a 7 years break with babies, so it´ll just be so much fun again, but even I´ve had small kids around here all the time now for almost 40 years and seems I will for a few more now, and no matter how many sleepless nights, we´ve had with sick kids or grandkids, then it´s still just as amazing every time, and I never get tired of sitting there cuddling with them 3 AM in the morning, when they need that. And yes sometimes you´re soo tired, you can hardly keep your eyes open, but it´s also the warmest and best feeling, you can ever get, and I really feel sorryfor those, who never expirience that kind of moments.
    So HAPPY THANKSGIVING to you and everybody else over there and hope for lots of sleepless nights in the future too. Take good care.

  2. Loving thoughts with you and your family. Motherhood truly is a blessing. xx

  3. Well, now I'm crying. Such a beautiful post. I was not blessed with children. It's obvious you are a wonderful, loving mother. Wishing you joy today and always

  4. Hello friend, your story touched me. You've been strong and brave, your loved baby gives you so much joy now.
    have a nice day!

  5. Wow...this brought tears to my eyes! My daughter was blessed with a beautiful little girl that is 15 months old. She & her husband were already trying to have a second (they are in their mid to late thirties), and she had a miscarriage. I know she's still not over it!

  6. Oh, Anna...I'm so happy you have your little guy and love him so much.


  7. Dear Anna, I also know the pain of such a loss. June 4th is forever etched into my heart. I am also thankful for sleepless nights as I now have four precious children and cherish the time that I can have them close....even in the middle of the night! Treasure each moment and know that they pass so quickly! I find I stay of long after they've gone back to sleep just watching them. God Bless!